How To Find A Woman...Or Not by Gary Morgenstein
For those of you who are new blog followers I must let you know that Gary Morgenstein is one of the authors on my top 10 favorites of all time. His book, Jesse's Girl was so awesome that I have told everyone I know to read it and they all say the same thing, "I loved it!" Anywho, he's done it once again, written a book that has hit a deeper part of me than most authors ever get to.
When you are trying to find a significant other a good way to pass some time or meet some great people is to see the world as a big singles bar. I have met some really great people while walking my dog or shopping at a store. Sometimes it turned into a relationship and sometimes it didn't. But how will you ever meet the right person if you aren't putting yourself out there? Gary's tips are right on point when it comes to a romantic relationship or even just a kindred spirit. Romantic relationships take a lot of time and effort, but so do lasting friendships.
This book was so much fun to read. Gary has a way with words that I can't quite describe in words. If you are single or even just looking to make some new connections, this book might be just the thing your looking for.
Read an Excerpt:
Highly addictive, online dating is like shopping through a catalog with the easy option to return the package.
MORGY ONLINE DATING RULES
1. It’s a numbers game, the romantic equivalent of Operation Shock and Awe
2. You must sign up for as many sites as you can afford/have time for
3. Never get discouraged — odds are astronomical against you
4. Do not check dating site messages at work — unemployment reduces your attractiveness
Like the Yellow Brick Road, it is best to start with the picture.
Yes, we all need witty profiles and a sea of fascinating interests, but the first thing a woman does is look at your picture. If they say feh and feh, you’re toast, guys.
These are bad ideas for profile photos.
1. You waking in the morning with a sinus infection
2. Coming out of anesthesia
3. Going under anesthesia
4. Handcuffed, officially or unofficially
5. Tight jeans
6. Screaming at your kids
7. Hoisting brews with your buds dressed like a Viking
8. Spray-painted in your favorite football team’s colors
9. Showing ANY private parts or parts contiguous to private parts, you know what I’m talking about
10. Wheeling your mother raises questions whether you’re a Momma’s Boy
11. Jokingly kissing another man creates suspicions because you sure don’t look that upset about a guy’s tongue in your ear
12. Kissing another woman underscores all their doubts about a man’s fidelity
13. Never friggin’ frowning — women don’t want a farbissineh (Yiddish for sourpuss)
As with everything else, women look at our pictures differently. I’ve often asked my friend Sid before one of his dates, so what does this woman do for a living and he says, I dunno, I just looked at her picture.
Women don’t operate quite that way. While the instant repulsive factor certainly works as much for them as us, they’re already calculating emotional possibilities based primarily on your picture.
1. Will you be fun?
2. Will you beat them with a strap?
3. Can you be trusted with a joint checking account?
And on and on, like the computers which guide probes to Jupiter. You can try and deceive them, but they’re way ahead of you at every turn. They are trained to be suspicious of us. Which is why I strongly urge you to be honest in your online profile. I can’t control their honesty, but at least I can work on our end.
You can’t show up for a date and lay a cardboard cutout on the chair while you hide by the bar, answering remotely. You must be there in the flesh, boys. That means if you have a receding hairline or none at all, don’t show the picture of you in the old ‘fro. If you have gray hair, that shot of you with black locks won’t cut it. And taking a picture of yourself on your tippy toes is dumb. If you’re short, you’re short. Get over it.
1. Take a recent photo. All you need is one, preferably with the date embedded in the corner, showing you look like who you are
2. Not too close, which might show old acne scars
3. Smile. You are happy to meet her. You are looking at each other
4. Show off your best features: smile, hair, clothing, the Maserati, two-level home, boat, beautiful dog, expensive furniture, anything suggesting you’re worth a conversation
5. If you have a kid, post a shot of you together — but ask them as a matter of privacy. They might not want their photos in this setting
6. Post a casually dressed photo and one of you in a suit so she can imagine you on a Saturday night as well as leaving her apartment in the morning heading for work
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